


Staying Alive

by undercovercarisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, OOC, rafael is comforting, sonny needs to heal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 15:55:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18803518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undercovercarisi/pseuds/undercovercarisi
Summary: “You’re okay,”All Sonny could feel the weight of Olivia’s hand against his shoulder, grounding him to the floor and bringing him back to the world around him. The feeling of the gun tip pressing against his forehead lingered against his skin, burning the feeling into his face. Sonny looked up as Olivia moved past him to get to the victim.The victim.--------Sonny and Rafael the day that Sonny was almost shot.





	Staying Alive

“You’re okay,” 

All Sonny could feel the weight of Olivia’s hand against his shoulder, grounding him to the floor and bringing him back to the world around him. The feeling of the gun tip pressing against his forehead lingered against his skin, burning the feeling into his face. Sonny looked up as Olivia moved past him to get to the victim. 

The victim. 

Sonny had been so worried about himself that he didn’t think of the victim. The feeling on blood on his face reminded him of what had happened. Sonny’s fingers lifted on their own accord, feeling the still warm blood caking onto his face. He looked at his hand, his eyes welling with tears that he shoved back. Olivia was soon brushing past him, walking the victim out of the house.

Sonny found the willpower to move, heading for the front door. He stepped into the sunlight, his heart pounding against his chest. He was alive. Some people weren’t so lucky. Sonny moved like a robot to the ambulance. He stood silently as a woman cleaned the blood from his skin, quick and rough. She was trying to do her job- to get Sonny out of the way for a real victim. Sonny wasn’t a victim. He was doing his job. He was supposed to understand this. He was set to diffuse the situation.

The drive to the precinct was silent. Sonny turned the radio off, sitting in aching silence. Sonny parked the squad car, staring at the steering wheel until the numbness of his body began to sink away. He moved from the car, heading for the front doors of the precinct. He made his way to his desk, gathering his things. Olivia was still missing but Amanda and Fin sat at their desks, typing away. Amanda gave Sonny a small sympathetic smile, watching him leave the precinct. Instead of going home though, Sonny made his way towards Rafael’s office.

The ride up the elevator had Sonny feeling sicker. He glanced into the metal wall, noticing his distorted appearance. Blood stayed in his hairline. His clothes still splattered with what the paramedic couldn’t remove. Sonny looked up as the elevator let out a shrill ding. Sonny moved through the office.

Carmen looked at Sonny, giving him a small smile. She had been notified by Amanda that Sonny was leaving and she assumed he’d be looking for Rafael. 

“Detective Carisi, please wait one second.” Carmen hopped up from behind the desk, hurrying to the door to knock on it.

Rafael looked up from his computer as Carmen opened the door.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly.

Rafael had gotten a text from Olivia, telling him that Sonny had a horrible day. Rafael chewed on his bottom lip, pushing his chair out from under the desk. He stood up from the desk, heading towards the door. Carmen moved out of the way to allow Sonny to come into the room. Rafael frowned at Sonny’s appearance.

“Sonny-” Rafael breathed out. 

Rafael wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, holding him tightly. Sonny pressed his forehead against Rafael’s shoulder. Rafael rubbed his back gently, holding the trembling man tightly against his chest. He knew Sonny had battled throughout many of their cases. Sonny was trying his hardest to maintain his strong personality but Rafael knew the truth. He knew Sonny battled between his own personal feelings and the dire need for a case. Rafael held him tightly, allowing the other man to tremble against him.

“I’m going to gather my stuff Sonny. Then we’ll go home.”

 

At home, Rafael brewed coffee for the both of them. He looked over at Sonny who sat at the kitchen table. His blood stained work clothes had been abandoned for a loose pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. Rafael gathered creamer from the fridge, pouring it into the mug for his boyfriend. He sat the mug down, running his fingers through Sonny’s damp hair. Sonny leaned into his touch closing his eyes.

“How are you feeling Sonny?” Rafael asked softly.

“Better now that I’m home.” Sonny whispered against his boyfriends shirt.

Rafael continued to run his fingers through Sonny’s hair, pressing a kiss against his head. Sonny’s eyes fluttered shut, trying to find comfort in his pain. Rafael was going to make it better, as he had so many times before. Sonny relaxed against Rafael. 

The middle of his forehead still burned with the feeling of a gun tip against it. Rafael leaned down, pressing a kiss against the spot. Sonny wondered if Rafael had a way of knowing. Rafael seemed to always know.

“I’m going to get Liv to give us the name of an NYPD psychiatrist. We’re going to get help for you.” Rafael whispered, rubbing his boyfriend's shoulder softly.

“Thank you.” Sonny whispered, “For everything.”

“We’re going to get through this. Together Sonny.” 


End file.
